ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
