Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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