What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
