It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Are we still banned from the library?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
