his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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