I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
