Got a toothbrush?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i dont even know how to be here
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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