did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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