She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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