I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
