the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
