fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
