i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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