You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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