Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Im part way to drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
