I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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