Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
