At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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