I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
