i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
