Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize