I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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