So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
