Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
