We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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