im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
