If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
