can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
