I hate all girls vehemently.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
