I feel great
I just peed on a car
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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