i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
