Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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