so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
