I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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