Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
BRING THE BAGELS
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