do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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