In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
