addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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