New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
