I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
