The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
