your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
