I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
