Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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