Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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