do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
