no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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