We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
