I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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