Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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