I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had sex on a roof
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
