i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize