i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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