yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
