I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
