I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
wow bdsm is so cute
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
