try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
