you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
