Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
