I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
