So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
