Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
