my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's official drugs can't kill me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
