I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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