i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
