I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
