I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
