Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
