i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
