the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
