I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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